Spike Woke Up Gay!
by Katta

Spike had rarely felt as good as this morning. The moment he opened his eyes a grin spread over his face, starting with his big lips and moving on to his eyes. He leapt out of bed, and checked his image in the mirror. Looking good as always. Slightly out-of-tune, he hummed to himself: "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay, and I pity any boy who isn't me today."

He stopped singing and arranged his looks: sunglasses, leather jacket and a quick combing of that curly hair. Then he sat down in front of his reflection.

"Am I looking good or what?" he asked it. After a while he nodded, grinning even more. "Of course I am! Who could resist that face? The boss will just melt."

Making his way down the stairs, he pondered what he had just said, and shook his head a little.

"Then again, who cares about the boss? It's time for a new conquest."


Spike made a big entrance, raising an eyebrow in the direction of Lynda's desk and stating: "I really feel that this mouth was created for great kissing. Don't you agree?"

The newsteam looked up, rather startled. A line like that wasn't unusual for Spike. Their surprise was more cause by the fact that Lynda wasn't actually sitting by her desk. She was in the graphics' room, yelling at Kate. Instead, Spike's gaze was directed at Kenny's sweet-looking young body on the other side. He moved up to the desk and sat down in Lynda's chair, looking expectantly at the assistant editor. Kenny looked back, rather amused.

"You're feeling gay today," Kenny said, smiling a little.

"Absolutely!" Spike replied. "I couldn't have said it better myself. After all, life it beautiful, I am beautiful... Coming to think of it, you're beautiful yourself." He leaned forward. "You almost look as good as me today. Maybe it has something to do with that lesson in personality I gave you the other month. You know, you still owe me for that one."

Before Kenny had time to answer, a cold voice said: "You're sitting in my chair."

Spike looked up at Lynda. Boy, was that a stare that could turn people into stone. "You know, boss, smiling a little wouldn't hurt once in a while."

"I'll smile when you get off my chair."

Spike slid off the chair and looked expectantly at Lynda. She sat down and turned to him with a smile that could not be called warm.

"Well," he said, "not bad for a first try, but I must say, I've seen better." To her great dismay, he turned to Kenny. "I bet Kenny has a beautiful smile. Don't you, Kenny?"

Kenny laughed at Spike's cheeky comments.

"Oh yes, absolutely beautiful. You could learn something there, boss."

Lynda pouted. It did not add to her appeal. She had expected Spike to start flirting with her as always. Yes, she knew they weren't an item anymore, but the least he could do was let her reject him again. What was he so bloody happy about? He should be flirting, or at least yelling at her so she knew that she mattered to him. Spike was a jerk. She wasn't the least bit sorry that she had stolen his passport.

The jerk was at this moment leaning across her desk, shoving her nothing but his cute butt since he was facing Kenny, leaning over the boy. "Have you had breakfast?"

"Occasionally," Kenny replied, pretending to be busy with his article although there was a smile in the corners of his mouth.

"A good invention, isn't it? So how about you and I, two beautiful people, having breakfast at Czar's?"

"You're supposed to be working," Lynda pointed out, voice down to zero degrees Kelvin.

Spike gave her a reproachful glance. "You just don't know how to have fun, boss."

Lynda frowned so thoroughly Tiddler's bunnies started to squeal in fear. "Oh, shut up!" she yelled at them. Then she rushed off to the corridor, apparently heading for the toilet.

Kenny watched her leave and realized this was the time he was supposed to go after her, hand her a box of tissues, and provide punchbag for her until she had calmed down again. Instead, his gaze fell on Spike, who was still waiting for his reply, smiling that mischievous grin that made the girls go gaga. Except, it didn't seem that the girls what was he was interested in anymore.

Kenny looked thoroughly at the apparently gay Spike. He had always known, of course, that Spike was capable of finding men attractive. After all, he seemed immensely attracted to Spike Thompson. But in general, his tastes were more of the long hair and short skirt kind. Until now. Now, he looked at Kenny in a way that nobody had since... well, since that little lesson in personality had shown some effects in the newsroom. Sam used to look at him like that, but she had quit the newsteam, and while she was at it, dumped him too. She had been a little bit more considerate than Jenny, but that hadn't helped. In fact, he had never had a satisfying relationship with a woman.

"Breakfast, was it?" he asked.

"Yeah." Spike smiled again. Not a bad smile.

"Hold that thought."

He did have a responsibility as the nicest and most sensible person on the Junior Gazette. He had to make sure Lynda was alright.


Kenny stopped outside the toilet, knocking on the door. It wasn't locked, he noticed. Lynda was counting on him.

"Lynda, are you alright?"

"Go away."

He sighed a little and changed the sign outside from man to woman.

"Lynda, I hate to tell you this, but you're at the gents' room."

There was a sobbing laughter inside, and he smiled a little.

"I'm coming in."

Lynda was sitting on the floor, face in that sulky expression he had known since he was five. She wasn't crying, probably because she had decided not to. If she had wanted to cry, there would have been a flood in there by now.

"Why is he doing this?" she asked Kenny, throwing her arms around him. "It's like I'm not even there, like I don't matter any more than Sarah or Tiddler or anyone!"

Kenny sighed a little, keeping his voice as kind as possible. "Maybe he's decided to move on. You've made clear what your wishes are, you don't want him pining for you forever, do you?"

"Of course not!" she said. "I don't care what Spike Thompson does, why would I? He was the one who kept flirting with me." Her lips shivered and tears rose in her eyes. "And I want him to!"

Kenny gently provided her with the box of tissues. "And then there's this... gay... thing. It's quite possible that Spike has realized he's not really in to women. On the other hand, it could be just some sort of rebound."

"Do you think it is?" she asked hopefully.

"Well... it could be." But he hoped it wasn't.

"Oh, Kenny!" She lit up. "You can talk to him, can't you? Well, of course you can. You can talk to anybody. You can talk him out of this, make him notice me again."

"Do you want him back?" Kenny asked discreetly.

Her face dropped. "I... don't know."

He sighed. This was just so very Lynda. Whatever she wanted, she made everyone go through with. Never mind Spike's feelings. Never mind his feelings. He stood up, tired of her.

"I'll talk to him," he said. "I'm sure I can settle this in a satisfying way."

"Thanks, Kenny," Lynda said. "You're a real friend."

She stayed to take care of her reddish nose and he went back to the newsroom. He felt a little guilty, but not much. After all, he hadn't said for whom it would be satisfying. And he would talk to Spike... at Czar's... over breakfast.

I'm Gay!