by Amy B.
Ray Kowalski rolled over in bed and sniffled. He sat up, cracked his neck, and glanced toward the window. "Sun shining, birds singing. Perfect!"
He hopped out of bed and danced his way to the shower, singing "I'm Too Sexy" all the way. He was mildly surprised that he knew all the words, but then there weren't that many, so he waved his hands in the air, did a little shimmy, and repeated another chorus.
The day was so gorgeous he decided to walk to the station house. Sure, it was fifty-seven blocks, but Fraser did that kind of stuff all the time. He bopped along the street smiling and saying hello to everyone he met. He tried to call them by name like Fraser but had to give up when he realized he didn't know everyone in the city like the Mountie seemed to do. So he substituted "buddy" and "miss" in place of names.
Ray barely noticed the desk sergeant's surprise when he dropped a box of fresh doughnuts on the desk with a cheery, "Enjoy, Fred!"
He danced up the stairs, humming loudly. When he waltzed into the squad room, he squealed with delight as he saw Frannie approaching.
"Oooh, Miss Thang! Look at you. Where did you get that fabulous shirt?" Ray took in the midriff baring pale yellow number with a touch of envy.
"I...uh...what?" Frannie looked at him suspiciously.
"Think I could wear something like that?" He put his hand on his tummy and confided, "I may be skinny, but I think my abs are pretty good."
"Are you making fun of me, Ray? Because I've been taking self-defense, you know. I could flip you like a hamburger."
"Cheer up, sweetie. It's a beautiful day and I'm feeling great." As Frannie continued to glare at him, Ray explained gently, "I really mean it, you look fab."
"Uh-huh. Who are you and what did you do with the real Ray?" Frannie crossed her arms over her chest. "I hope it didn't hurt too much breaking out of your pod."
Ray watched her stomp off with a puzzled frown that quickly turned back into a dazzling smile when she tossed over her shoulder, "Oh yeah, Fraser's waiting for you in the break room."
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts," Ray sang as he walked down the hall and threw the door to the break room open.
"Ray, is everything all right?" Fraser asked with a concerned look, then turned to pour Ray a cup of coffee.
"Sure, Fraser old buddy. Everything's fine and dandy." Ray took the cup with a wink and said, "And speaking of fine..."
Fraser stared at him in puzzlement until Ray explained, "You plus red serge plus big brown boots equals *rrroowwrrr*. You are really workin' that uniform today."
Fraser rubbed his thumb over his eyebrow nervously in that adorable gesture that Ray loved so much and asked, "Wh-what?"
"That's what I've been wondering," Frannie interjected from the doorway. She walked into the room and looked Ray up and down. He was standing hipshot with one hand on his waist. "I mean, look him Frase. He's wearing tight pants. He never wears tight pants. He's acting like, acting, he's--"
Ray reached over and tapped Frannie's chin. "Don't stutter, Frannie. It's not attractive except when Fraser does it." He winked at Fraser.
"I don't-- Oh dear." Fraser set his coffee down and took Ray's cup out of his hand and set it beside his own. "I think we need to go, Ray. Francesca, I assure you I will get to the bottom of this."
Ray's eyebrows shot up and his grin got impossibly wider. "Whoa! I didn't think the day could get any better."
Fraser waited until Francesca had drifted out of earshot and then glanced at Ray. "Oh, you have no idea, Ray."
"Gonna show me all the uses for your Sam Browne?"
"And some that haven't even been invented yet." Fraser assured him with a small, controlled smile.