"If I knew what I was doing
I'm so tired of thinking of Liz Parker every night, and trying to act like I don't want to touch her when we're in the same room. And I know that part of her feels the same way about me. It's not arrogance-it's just obvious attraction that I-and maybe we-can no longer deny. So I've got to do something about it. That's why I'm standing in the Crashdown right now. That's why my breathing is a little off, and that's why I'm about to do something that's more of a risk than anything I've ever done.
"What are you doing here Tess?"
I didn't know what to say to her. I knew she was probably in a hurry to get everything settled since it was closing time. But I can't back out now.
"I just, uh, wanted to you know...come by and say hello..."
I am so dumb.
"Oh, well. That's nice I guess. Is there anything else?"
God, Liz. Yeah there's "anything else", there's everything else that I need to say, and do.
"I want to make sure we can be friends. I don't want or need another enemy, you know?"
By now she had stopped cleaning the counter and was walking towards me. She took my hand and pulled me down to sit in the booth with her. Finally, her touch. Being that close was going to kill me.
"I know Tess. I know that it doesn't seem like we could ever be friends because of all that's happened. And everything with Max...it's all just very complicated. But I don't hate you, I don't want to hate you..."
She spoke with such sincerity and I wasn't sure what to do or say next. She really was a goddess, and this moment proved that. She deserved someone that could make her feel beautiful all the time, someone who truly understood her and could realize all that was Liz. She needed someone to speak to her only with silver words...and I wanted to be that someone. I needed to be that someone. And I realized while I was thinking all of this that she was still talking.
"And I want you to know Tess, that no matter what if you need someone to talk to, to be a friend, I can be that person. I want to get to know you Tess. I'm tired of pretending that we have to hate each other. It doesn't have to be that way, and I don't want it to be that way."
She was still holding my hand, and I was still unable to breathe. Did she have any idea what she was doing to me?
"I don't want it to be that way either Liz. I want us to be friends...I want us to be close. It's funny...I already feel a certain closeness with you, a very strong one...I-"
I didn't know how to continue. Her eyes had grown larger and I was sure I had scared her. I was foolish to think that she would ever want what I did, but then, her eyes softened again. I know it was some sort of sympathy, and some sort of desire in her eyes.
"I'll be right here, you take your time
"Tess, I-I don't know what to say. You mean you want...?"
The look on my face answered her question. And I suddenly knew she no longer feared me, and I no longer had to fear her rejection. She squeezed my hand tighter and moved closer to my face.
I knew what was about to happen, and when I felt her soft lips finally push against my own I thought I would explode. I pulled her closer and kissed her harder. She didn't object. I felt her pull away and she looked down. For a moment I wondered if she had regretted what she had just done. But then I saw her stare back in my eyes and I knew. She led me upstairs into her room.
"Baby, come here next to me
Everything was different now. Liz and I were no longer fighting it. No silver words needed to be spoken tonight...