I think I've become a bore, or something. Ever since I've been hanging with
the Scoobies, I don't do much. Sure, me and the band still have our gigs and
smoke weed in our free time, but it's been a while since I've gone to a party
and gotten on-my-ass drunk. And it's been ages since I've fucked a groupie
completely senseless. In fact, I haven't been laid since Oz, and that left me
feeling kinda dirty. It's strange cause before, Oz was the only person that
ever made me feel special. Things change, I guess.
I feel special though. When I look at Xander and he glances up at me under
his long lashes, then blushes. It's really cute. And it's a big pain in the
ass too. How did I become so freakin' mushy. We haven't done anything since
that day in Oz's van. We hung out though. Went to a movie, South Park. I
smoked some weed, but Xander passed.
But I can't take this goody-goody bullshit anymore. I need to party. And now
these new people in my life are what I'm considering my good friends. So, I
decided I needed to do something to get them out of the boring monotony of
constant research and slaying. They need to be kids for once. So, I'm having
one of my famous little bashes. Aunt Katie left town for a week and it's time
It was a major pain in the ass to get Buffy to agree to come. She's so high
strung all the time. Maybe she just needs to get laid. If it weren't for
Xander, I'd be more than happy to show her the softer side of myself. Oz is
always good to party, but he's being really cautious about what he's doing
since Willow is here. Xander pretty much does anything I suggest. I said,
"Party", he said, "Okay."
Him and Willow are in my kitchen playing dominos with Mike and Casey. They're
kicking ass too. Oz is over on the couch drawing an intricate picture on
Buffy's upper arm with magic markers. I wonder what's up with those two. I
know there's something. Eh, oh well, I'm gonna steal him away for a little
I walk over behind the couch and throw an arm around each one of their
shoulders. "Dev! You're gonna mess me up, man!" Oz says shrugging my arm off.
"Sorry, Picasso. Just thought you might wanna come and see this new thing I
got," I tell him. He looks at me weird.
"What thing?" he asks disinterested, still drawing perfectly curved lines on
Buffy's tanned skin.
"Dude, just a thing," I say, knocking him in the head so he'll look back at
me. He does and he has that annoyed look. Of course, that's a look that only
I can see cuz it's only ever directed at me. Besides, it's all in his eyes.
But I widen my eyes and subtly rub my forefinger and thumb together. He
raises his eyebrows and gives me a slight nod to show that he gets me. He
caps the marker and Buffy gives him a look.
"I'll be right back," he tells her. I just noticed that she has her ankle
hooked around his.
"Hurry, I don't wanna walk around with it unfinished," she tells him and
tosses a testy look in my direction. Well, sor-ry that I had to steal my best
friend from you, you man-stealing bitch. Does she have no shame? I mean, it's
okay for me to fuck Oz, cuz he was mine before he was anybody's. For her to
be fucking Oz is a major betrayal on her part. Not that I really care about
Willow. Stupid cunt.
Oz and I walk side-by-side up my narrow staircase. The four or five beers in
my system are making me bump into him a lot. He's been drinking to, but he's
always been better at holding his alcohol. But he's laughing at me. "You're
going to show me your thing, huh?" he says jokingly.
"Dude, you've seen it. I got a fat sack last night, the sticky, crystallized
shwaggy-baggy. Get you blown off your ass, man," I tell him as I open the
door to my bedroom. I let him pass in front of me, just cause I want to watch
him move. He moves so smoothly and unobtrusively as I watch him fall back on
my bed, like I have so many other times. He sees me watching him and that
little smirk forms at the corner of his eyes, cuz he smiles with his eyes,
not really his lips.
I give him "the hand", because.....well, just because, before moving over to
my closet to dig through all the dirty laundry. Finally, I come up with my
stash box, an old Nestley's Quik Chocolate milk container. Using a dirty
spoon that was sitting on the floor under my nightstand, I pop the top off
and dump the content into my hand. The plastic baggy falls into my palm,
covered in a slight film of brown, chocolatey powder. I tap the bag and most
of the powder falls into my hand, so I lick it. "Mmmm, chocolatey," I say
before tossing the bag into Oz's lap so he can check out the funk.
"You're so ghetto, Dev," he says in an amused tone as he opens the bag and
takes a long sniff of the aroma emanating from it. "Dude," he says to convey
just how bomb I am. Yep, I got the hook up.
"Broke my glass pipe," I say as an explanation when I throw some rolling
papers at him. "Dude," I add, clumsily pushing myself up to my feet. "This
shit is going to give us some major cotton mouth. You roll, I'll do a beer
run." He nods, already breaking a sticky bud up for the joint.
I trot down the stairs easily since Oz isn't right at my side. Catrine, this
groupie I boned once, is standing with some other girl right at the foot of
the stairs and she smiles when she sees me. I give her one of my trademark
smiles and she wraps an arm around my waist, stopping me in my tracks. "This
is a great party, Dev, but maybe you and I can have our own private little
bash a little later," she whispers into my ear.
I pretend that I'm thinking about then I shake my head. "Nope, I think not,"
I say, breaking free from her and ignoring the exasperated huff she gives. I
make my way through the crowds of people swarmed in my living room, my cool
gait matching the beat of the music pumping through the speakers.
The kitchen is full of minglers. Willow and Xander sitting across from each
other at the kitchen table, Mike and Casey across from each other, Mike with
a blond on his lap. "Domino, motherfucka!" Casey shouts out and slams down on
the table. Buffy is leaning over Xander's shoulder, "Yay, you. Five whole
points from Xand," she says with a coy smile, patting Xander on the shoulder
as encouragement for being such a great domino player.
Them two have been getting along a lot more lately. I'm glad, because for
some reason, Buffy really means a lot to him. I smiled at the short blond a
bit, she could be cool if she ever loosened up a bit. Opening the fridge, I
stooped and grabbed up four beers. Standing behind Buffy, I placed one of the
beers in front of Xander. He turned and smiled up at me.
Turning to set mine and Oz's beers down on the counter, I took the other and
placed it against Buffy's bare neck. She screeched as the cold aluminum came
into contact with her heated skin. Spinning, she slapped me on the arm,
"Lighten up," I said with a cocky grin and pushed the beer at her. She
accepted it, but only looked down at it. Taking it from her again, I popped
the top and handed it back to her. "It's to drink. You know, like pour it
into your mouth and swallow it."
"Dude, you said swallow," Casey said, and slammed back a beer.
Buffy nodded and rolled her eyes before taking a small sip. As her neck
tilted back, I couldn't help but notice her breasts push out just a bit. She
was wearing one of those super-duper wonder bras tonight and it made her tits
look great. That gave me an idea. "Dude, sex shots," I say.
"Dude! Sex shots!" Mike and Casey yell in unison, but Xander, Buffy and
Willow just look at us like we're crazy. I don't even take time to explain,
stooping over and pulling a bottle of tequila out from under the sink. I pull
out a shot glass and fill it up. Xander is turned around in his chair,
looking at me inquisitively.
"Don't sock me," I say, as I step up closely to Buffy. She furrows her brow a
bit, but doesn't say anything. A deep gasp comes from her as I place the shot
glass and in her cleavage, between the mounds of her breasts.
"What the hell?!" she yells, but I hold up a finger. Turning I tip the bottle
so that some of the liquor dribbles onto Xander's neck. "What the hell?!" he
yells, repeating Buffy's reaction. Casey was ready for that, and shook some
salt on the wet spot.
"What's going on?" Willow asks the girl sitting on Mike's lap, but she
I ignore Buffy's angry glare, give her a big grin before leaning down to lick
the salt off of Xander's neck. He gasps, and the hand that I placed on his
shoulder feels the shiver that passes through him. Turning quickly, I wrap my
arm around Buffy's waist and drag her closer to take the shot glass from
between her breasts with my lips. Knocking, my head back, I take the shot,
pulling Buffy a bit closer.
When I look down at her, she's blushing wildly. She brings her hands up to my
chest and they rest there for a while, before she begins pushing at me.
Backing away, I let the shot glass drop from my mouth into my palm. "You're
turn, Xan," I say.
His eyes are wide. He looks quickly from Buffy to me and shakes his head
frantically. With a shrug, I hide my disappointment and turn back to Buffy.
"How 'bout you?" I ask her with a mischievous smile.
"Um, no thanks," she says. She looks like her knees are going to go out from
under her. I have that effect on women. Tapping Xander on the shoulder, she
motions for him to scoot over and the two share the small kitchen chair, both
of them still blushing. Scooping up the two beers I came down for, I round
"You're such a pervert," Willow says.
"You're such a prude," I say, pushing the back of her head.
Back up in my room, things are never so tense. When it's just me and Oz,
smoking away like old times. The party raging downstairs as we're oblivious
to everybody. He's telling me about this new thing he taught Willow to do
with her tongue. To tell you the truth, even the thought of fucking that
bitch makes me a bit queasy, but I'm happy that Oz finally has some regular
pussy. And the fatty joint that he rolled while I was away goes down quickly
to a little roach, to be placed in an ashtray with a huge collection of the
Popping the top on my beer I slurped at the foam, leaning my head back
against the wall. Oz is sitting in front of me, his legs folded Indian style,
leaning back on his elbows. For a moment I think about pushing him further
back and latching onto his cock with my mouth. I miss fucking him. But I
shake off the idea, it's too risky with everybody here.
That reminds me of Xander and the sex shot. How hot his skin was under my
tongue. The smell of his cologne still lingering in my nostrils. Now, I'm
wondering how I can get rid of everybody but him. "God, Oz. Xander looks so
fucking hot tonight." He nods agreeably.
Sitting up a bit, I look him straight in the eye. "Man, do you think tonight
would be too soon? That I'd be rushing things?" I ask him seriously.
"Too soon for what?" he asks, taking a deep pull off of his beer.
"Too soon for Xander to be with me, man. For him to be with a man," I
explain. Oz's brows furrow a bit and he gets this guarded look on his face. I
know that look, now if I could just place it.
"Well, I wouldn't worry too much about that anymore, if I were you, Dev," he
answers in a noncommittal tone.
"What's that supposed to mean, Oz?" I ask, becoming a bit suspicious. He's
"Oh, I'm just saying that he's probably ready."
"Yeah, well a couple weeks ago you were telling me how I have to go slow. We
haven't done anything since then so what makes you so sure he's ready now?" I
He sighs and rubs his hand over his face tiredly. I hate it when he does
that. Whenever he does that, it means he's getting into a conversation that
he doesn't want to be in. "I don't know, man. Maybe Xander's not quite as
inexperienced as before."
"Dude, explain this to me like I'm a three year old, cuz I'm not getting you
"You really wanna know?" he asks raising his eyebrows to show me that what he
was going to say was bad. Now I really have to hear this. I nod sharply.
"Okay. He's ready because I got him ready. For you." He adds at the end.
"What?!" So naturally, the beer that I'm chugging decides to spew
forth.....right into Oz's face. That's what he gets. "You fucked Xander?! You
"Devon," Oz says calmly, as he wipes the beer from his face with a soiled
napkin. "Don't fucking 'Devon' me, man! You fucked my...."
"Your WHAT, Devon?!" Oz says and jumps up excitedly. He hasn't gotten this
loud with me since I fucked that one groupie without protection. "Xander
isn't shit to you! You'll fuck him, use him until your done with him, then
you'll discard him. As usual. I WON'T let that happen."
It takes a lot to make Oz upset, but I didn't do anything for him to distrust
me so much. I've gone slow with Xander. I don't want to scare him. What
fucking right does he fucking have, huh?! "Oh, fuck you, Oz! What are you the
Good Fairy of Gay Sex or something?! You fucked him because you're a fucking
whore!" I threw at him. The shocked look on his face matches how I feel. I've
never said anything so disrespectful to Oz. But now that it's pouring out of
my mouth I can't stop it. "You're with Willow, but you fucked me and you
fucked Xander and you're probably fucking Buffy, and you justify it by making
it seem like you're doing them some big favor. You fucked Xander to protect
him from me. What about Buffy? Huh? Is it because she's lonely since Angel
left and you're just trying to keep her heart from breaking?"
He's been shaking, and now his face is turning red. He's trying to hold in
his anger, just like every other emotion, but I'm the only person in the
world that doesn't work with. The disgusted look I throw at him to finish it
off, is what breaks him. Hurling his nearly full beer can, it whizzes right
passed my ear and crashes against the wall behind me.
"What the fuck do you know about Buffy?! You don't know shit! I'm not fucking
her! I hold her at night when she's afraid that she might die of a broken
heart! I give her a shoulder to cry when she has no one else to go to! You
don't know shit, Devon! You don't know what it's like to see someone you
believed the strongest person in the world burst into a blubbering mass of
tears and throw themselves at your feet, begging for you to make the pain go
away! You fucking asshole!" He turns and runs from the room, on the verge of
I haven't seen Oz cry since his dog died when we were in the fifth grade. I
know I went overboard. I know I hurt him. A lot. He's right, I'm a dickhead
who always assumes too much. I never really told him how much I like Xander.
Why shouldn't he assume I'd treat him the same as other lovers I've taken? It
still hurts though. Oz doesn't trust me, and I suppose I brought that on
myself, but he's all I have. I want him to trust me. Or talk to me. Tell me
things like he used to.
I hear the sound of a roaring engine and look out my window. Willow is just
barely able to pull herself into Oz's van before he's screeching away from
the curb. I woulda laughed if she had fallen out. No, actually I wouldn't
have. I'm too fucking depressed to laugh. I need to talk to Xander.
When I get downstairs, he's still playing dominos, only Buffy has taken
Willow's place as his partner. Moving quietly into the room, I walk up behind
Xander and lean down to whisper in his ear. "Can we talk for a sec?" He turns
and looks at me, looking slightly worried, but he nods.
"Uh, sorry, guys, but I'm out," he tells everyone as he rises. No one seems
too disappointed. Mike is sucking on his girl's neck and Casey is trying, I
stress trying, to hit on Buffy. She doesn't seem too interested. But I can
see that she's drinking a beer. Wonder if it's the same one I gave her.
We walk out to my back porch and I sit on the step, he just sorta hovers
behind my back. "Sit down, would ya?" I ask, making room on the step next to
me. He waits a moment, then sits next to me, seems to brush his knee against
mine purposefully. I really do want him, even if I can't be his first.
"You slept with Oz." I say, looking straight into his deep, brown eyes. He
tries to look away in shame, but I catch his chin between my fingers and
force him to keep eye contact. "It's okay. He's pretty hard to resist."
"He said the same thing about you," he tells me.
I bring my hand further up to cup his cheek and he leans into my palm a bit.
"Is he right?" I know the answer, but I want to hear him say it. I want to
know that he wants me as much as he wants Oz.
"We'll see," he says, giving me a cute smile. Then he closes the small
distance between us and presses his lips against mine. My eyes shut and I
moan into his lips, letting his tongue slip into my mouth. I'm trembling. I
like this feeling. I hope it lasts.